Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
