I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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