i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
