I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
