So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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