can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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