Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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