i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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