the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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