Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
