Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize