I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
