yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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