I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
