Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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