Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
