I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i was born a porn star she said
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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