So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
