just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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