i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
