Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize