dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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