I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize