Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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