just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
