He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
