Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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