I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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