Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This is my gift to your gina
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
