great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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