The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
