well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
