At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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