I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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