Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
