is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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