He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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