Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
