is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
