Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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