oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i barfeds in our rink
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
