This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He is an equal opportunity slut.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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