mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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