He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
