question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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