nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
