We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
