Walk of Shame. In a state park.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's the barista slut.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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