we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
