since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
