Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
