It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
