She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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