I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
