wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
