Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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