how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
