he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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